the other night a friend was likening all of us girls to different disney characters. we had jasmine, mulan, and belle… of course i was cinderella. the name and blonde hair predisposes me to it. but once it was said, another guy said… “no. cindy’s not cinderella. cindy’s more like… alice. she always asking questions.”
i like that.
“around here, however, we don’t look backwards for very long. we keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we’re curious…and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.” – walt disney
you know how sometimes you read something it speaks to you somewhere deep? like there is a force behind you and it seems to beckon as if its leading you down a path that the force so desperately wants you to follow? knowing that if you follow then you will discover the very thing its wants to show you? it was like when i saw this for the first time it was doing that very thing. for me… drawing, beckoning, pleading with me to pursue it.
so naturally, i did.
it led to a place where there was a split in the road: one leads to what was and one leads to what will be.
and i felt as if i was being posed with a question.
“are you willing to let go of all the potential of things now that you’ve been holding on to and discover the reality of what could be?”
it sounds like a strange question. but i think its more normal than we think. its natural for humans to keep holding on to different things – friendships, jobs, relationships, pursuing the status quo – always hoping for the best. though, wishing is a better word. unfortunately, its the holding on that keeps us from moving forward, fully engaging the approaching of our life. we keep grasping – willing things to change, be better, be different. when sometimes they just aren’t. certain relationships won’t change. job situations – even through the course of promotions – are in so many ways still the same. and not that any of that is bad. on the contrary, sometimes its very good. stable. secure. unless it becomes something that keeps us stuck.
and i got myself stuck. hoping (wishing) for more to happen in certain areas of my life. and i had to come to the reality that some things will not change. good, bad, indifferent – they just are what they are. and for some of those items, it makes my heart sad – because i can see all the potential. but just the potential is there… it doesn’t guarantee its fulfillment.
so i? i chose the path to a new reality. i chose to let go of that which i have held on to for years, and so desperately – wishing that it would be different. now realizing that it is what it is. and that’s ok. i just need to not think it will look different than what i know. but instead choose to seek new direction. situations. people to befreind. places to discover. more about humanity and myself. beyond what i know and into something that will challenge me to grow.
a new place. a new frontier.
a place where i can follow all the rabbit holes i desire.
He always knows what’s best for us. We can get so twisted sometimes and I know exactly how you feel.